Hey again, it's me, Xoe. Yeah, you read that right. Xavier and I changed our first names so you wouldn't learn too much about us, but now it's time for the big reveal:

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THIS WAS ALL A TEST (well, mostly)

And you did....uhhhh, NOT GREAT

Xavier and I are interns, but we work for The Agency, and were tasked with seeing how current and potential Agents might respond to a hostile takeover of our systems and a deluge of misinformation.

AND really everyone? REALLY? FILLED OUT APPLICATIONS? Directly to Zoraxis??? The Eiffel Tower gone? Wouldn't this be major news?? Claiming Jesse Schell is Zor??? What are we doing here!

So, your mission, directly from The Handler, is to get back into the world of I Expect You To Die immediately and sharpen up those deductive and puzzle solving skills. He's even provided a code to make your training more accessible than ever: PRISMSURPRISE-8904FC will now save you 50% off I Expect You To Die 3 on the Meta Horizon Store.

Xavier and I operate out of a super secret Agency branch out of South America (Zoraxis you are never finding it so KEEP DREAMING), and are carrying on the work first started by our parents when they were agency employees (keep the words nepo babies out of your mouth PLEASE).

Our best memories growing up were when Mom or Dad returned home from a mission and shared all of the diabolical traps they evaded. Xav and I wouldn't even eat, we'd just sit there and listen with our mouths open. There was that whole misunderstanding about Dad being a Zoraxis double agent for a while, but he came around in the end (Mom definitely had something to do with that...)

Before you get too upset, there are some bits of truth to what Xavier and I were up to.

1) I did hack The Agency, but it was only to get their attention and get this internship in the first place. Guess I'm just THAT GOOD.

2) Xavier does think Zor is a total smokeshow (GAG) bc of the whole "enemies to lovers" trope and I'm not even going to BEGIN to psychoanalyze that one. I love him, but Xav has some wild ideas about some of the villains we've come up against. And don't even think of trying to open that file of buried fan fiction on his laptop under the TAXES folder; he password protected it after the last time I accessed it :(

3) And finally, for some "Uncle" Ollie news! During Mission: ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ Ollie was [REDACTED] while [EXPUNGED] the Agency as [DELETED] Zoraxis. Ollie, if you're reading this, we know you're [REMOVED]!

(Good work, Agent Xoe. I did however have to edit a bit of that last part. Hope you understand -H)