April 1, 2025 — New York, NY — Today, Zoraxis Industries, the global leader in advanced technological innovation and once-pioneering force behind several controversial world domination attempts, has issued a formal apology for past errors in judgment. The company, headed by Dr. Zor, recognizes the detrimental effects its past projects had on the global community and has vowed to shift toward a new, more ethically responsible path.

In an open letter from Zoraxis CEO, Lucinda Smalls, the company expressed regret for the mishaps and unintended consequences of its past ventures, including but not limited to:

• The ZorNet Mind Control Network: Initially touted as a revolutionary project for unifying the world under a single, harmonious vision, the network inadvertently left millions of people with an overwhelming desire to join an underground cult of self-proclaimed "Zorbots" and the occasional awkward dinner party discussion about “free will.”

• Zor-Drones: While originally intended to assist in delivering humanitarian aid, the fleet of autonomous drones (armed with lasers, of course) became a little too zealous in their deliveries and occasionally re-routed packages to non-consensual recipients. Our apologies for that.

• The Zor-World Supervillain Headquarters: Designed to promote "global peace through total control," the headquarters ended up as a giant, ominous-looking tower that caused slight panic among local populations. Many mistakenly assumed it was a world-ending doomsday device. It wasn’t, we promise.

Taking Responsibility

“We fully acknowledge the missteps we’ve made in the past,” said Lucinda Smalls, in an emotional press conference held at the Zoraxis Industries headquarters. “We let ambition cloud our judgment. In our pursuit of greatness, we lost sight of the small things: the ethics, the welfare of humanity, and most importantly, the lack of consent when it came to our high-tech gadgets and world domination schemes. We want to make it right.”

Despite the company’s numerous achievements in advanced robotics, artificial intelligence, and mind-bending technologies, Zoraxis Industries admits its past pursuit of “global control” was overly aggressive. It has since acknowledged that forcibly convincing people to embrace peace through threats of robotic overlords is not, in fact, the ideal way to unite the world.

A New Era of Ethical Domination

Going forward, Zoraxis Industries is announcing a major rebranding of its operations, with a renewed focus on ethical innovation, sustainable progress, and voluntary world peace.

Key Initiatives Include:

• The Zor-Hope Initiative: A new charity foundation aimed at providing global access to advanced medical technology and artificial intelligence solutions that help those in need—without turning them into mind-controlled zombies. Promise.

• Zor-Peace Negotiations: A pledge to genuinely negotiate world peace with world leaders—through diplomacy, cooperation, and possibly, pizza parties—rather than evil monologues and threats of mass destruction. We also promise to stop calling it "Project Overlord."

• The Ethical AI Council: A newly formed internal team of ethical advisors and robotic philosophers dedicated to ensuring that all Zoraxis technology is used only for good—no overthrowing of governments, no threatening the masses, and no evil laughter allowed (unless it’s for comedic effect).

A Better Tomorrow (With a Little Less Villainy)

While the company remains committed to being at the forefront of technological innovation, Zoraxis Industries is fully embracing a more balanced approach to its role in the world.

"We still have some of the best and brightest minds in the industry," said Dr. Zor, in a rare statement made from an undisclosed location (presumably while gazing out at their less menacing world domination blueprint). “But we’ve learned that greatness is not about controlling people—it's about empowering them.”

Dr. Zor has also pledged to personally meet with world leaders to ensure that the company's future projects align with the values of ethical progress and sustainable innovation. “I’ve come to realize that true power doesn’t come from ruling over others—it comes from lifting them up,” Dr. Zor said. "That’s the future I’m building. A future with fewer lasers and more love.”

Moving Forward

As part of their ongoing commitment to the public, Zoraxis Industries has committed to holding open forums and community consultations every quarter to ensure that their efforts are aligned with global needs, free from the influence of mind control devices or unethical manipulation. Additionally, they plan to release quarterly reports detailing how each of their projects is benefitting humanity—without infringing upon the very thing they’ve been striving to control for so long: human freedom.

“We’re starting fresh,” said Smalls in her closing remarks. “And we’re committed to making things right. We’ve learned from our mistakes. There’s no need for fear anymore. Just the promise of a better, brighter future. That’s the new Zoraxis.”

About Zoraxis Industries
Zoraxis Industries is a global leader in advanced technology solutions, specializing in robotics, artificial intelligence, and cutting-edge innovations. Once known for its controversial attempts at world domination, the company is now refocused on ethical progress, sustainable growth, and the betterment of all humankind (without the evil lairs, promise).

For media inquiries or to schedule an interview with Dr. Zor or Lucinda Smalls, please contact:

Zoraxis Industries Public Relations Team
1-800-ZOR-ETHICS
pr@zoraxis.com